Shelfies #37: Xan van Rooyen

This is just one of many bookshelves in my house, but it’s home to some of my most beloved reads. Books I read as a kid, autographed copies from authors dear to me, and a couple of books that genuinely changed my life.

Lost Souls by Poppy Z. Brite is probably why I became a writer. I discovered this book as a teenager, obsessed with vampires and slowly being seduced by all things Goth. While I loved Lestat and the books by Anne Rice, Lost Souls just hit differently. I immediately saw myself in Ghost – a strange loner who lived in his own world and marched to his own beat. In hindsight, I think this was when I first truly began to understand just how different I was, difference I wouldn’t be able to label queer or neurodivergent until much later in life, but seeing Ghost and relating so hard to a character was truly life-changing at the time. Also, the prose! The poetry of this book showed me just how exquisite darkness could be and made me feel like maybe I could let all the dark stories bottled up inside of me spill onto the page too.

Another book that changed my life in a completely different way was Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer. I watched the film adaptation first, actually, but it wasn’t until I read the book that the message truly hit me. Krakauer does a fantastic job of interweaving his own adventures and perspectives into the tale of Christopher McCandless (Alexander Supertramp), which made me take stock of my life, re-evaluate what truly mattered to me, and realize who I wanted to be and how I wanted to live. It was a major watershed moment for me during my mid-twenties and I am so grateful I came to value experiences over material objects thanks to this book.

The last book I want to talk about is truly precious: Under Rose-Tainted Skies by Louise Gornall. Louise was a dear friend of mine who I met via publishing when we were both just starting out on our writing journeys. Her book about a teen with severe OCD and agoraphobia is an immensely important work, published at a time when that sort of rep wasn’t so common in YA. It’s also a story which was deeply personal and reflective of Louise’s own health journey. Louise passed away in 2020 (f*ck cancer!) but I am so grateful I got to be her publicist, beta reader, book buddy, and friend in the far too short a time we knew each other. I miss her every day and will always treasure this book, personalized and autographed just for me.

Climber, tattoo collector, and peanut-butter connoisseur, Xan van Rooyen is an autistic, non-binary storyteller from South Africa, currently living in Finland where the heavy metal is soothing and the cold, dark forests inspiring. Xan has a Master’s degree in music, and – when not teaching – enjoys conjuring strange worlds and creating quirky characters. You can find Xan’s stories in the likes of Three-Lobed Burning Eye, Daily Science Fiction, and Galaxy’s Edge among others. They have also written several novels including YA fantasy My Name is Magic, and adult aetherpunk novel Silver Helix. Xan is also part of the  Sauútiverse, an African writer’s collective with their first anthology Mothersound out now from Android Press. Feel free to say hi on socials @xan_writer.

Shelfies is edited by Lavie Tidhar and Jared Shurin. For more Shelfies, please join us on Instagram at @shelfiesplease.